This is a public service announcement. Also, it’s the culmination of all the grief I’m about the give Andy for this. Because seriously.
Andy loves to buy books for Miles — absolutely adores reading to him and all that lovey dovey dad stuff. So he sees the book cover to your left, autographed (to Mariah) with the dragon and the whimsical Barbie-esque girl and says, “Cool, fantasy book,” and proceeds to buy it.
I’m impressed that he didn’t let the art style of the fact that it’s a series called “Copycat Chick series” stop him — I think a lot of guys would have stopped there and deemed the book too “girlie” or whatever. What should have stopped him, if he had bothered to read it before he got the book home, was the back:
In the City of Gold, it has been told a wondrous sign appeared. A copycat chick was near.
The evil red dragon tries to catch the copycat chick as she runs to copy the Bright and Morning Star. This whimsical rhyming book gives children a depiction of what following the Bright and Morning Star really means. Discover the importance of faith in The Dragon and the Woman, a part of the Copycat Chick Series.
At first he sort of goes, “Did I just bring home a book about the devil?” We marvel, and I flip through it, and suddenly it hits me. I look at him, and I go: “Andy, you bought our son a children’s book about the Book of Revelations!” (Also: “I get it, hint taken, I’ll lay off the angel porn!” which is actually a lie.)
Now, you may or may not know that we identify as Catholic (or more realistically, what I’ve heard described as “Cafeteria Catholic”); Andy and I did the whole Catholic Boot Camp for adults and got confirmed, and Miles is baptized. We’re probably medium-rare in our whole keeping the faith thing (I keep forgetting it’s Lent, so, um, yeah), but we have faith.
But this? This is too much for me. If this is something someone else wants to read to their children (I get the feeling Mariah’s mom didn’t), that’s cool — but dear Lord in Heaven, what possessed someone to write a rhyming children’s book about Revelations? The message of Jesus, the values of Christianity, yeah, I can get behind that. Revelations?
I am completely flabbergasted.
And the thing is — it’s not even a good book. I have no idea what’s going on with this Copycat Chick, I don’t think the art is all that good, and the writing is almost nonsensical in places: “The red dragon was mad at the copycat chick because his plan hit the fan. And so he started war biz. And the targets of the war were the copycat chick’s kids. The mini copycat chicks and guys better open their eyes.“
Seriously, I feel like I need a smoke a huge bowl before I even attempt to try to read the whole thing; I keep glancing at pages here and there trying to comprehend this, and my brain totally flat lines. I can’t imagine reading this to my child, because he can already barely speak English as is.
And, to be fair, I get it. Tina Allen & Marian Thuston have faith, and want to see this faith and good moral passed on to children. Books are a great method for helping children learn and understand things on their level. But this, to me, feels like too much, too heavy-handed, and poorly constructed.
Honestly, I’m more offended by the poorly constructed part. Professionalism, writers!
That said, I am SO prepped for our next White Elephant party.