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I just realized that this weekend I’ll be alone with Miles. Like, completely alone.1 It’s really weird. It’s not it’s the first time Andy has been away from Miles and I2, but usually it’s because he’s stuck at work while I’m out of town — and I usually have family with me to help lighten the load.
I take for granted that there’s always someone here to help me when I’m in over my head; I cannot imagine the pressure of being the sole parent of a child, with absolutely no one to lean on. And I mean that literally; even being aware that I’m going to be alone with Miles until sometime on Saturday or Sunday, I also know that Andy is coming home.
Sure, I have nightmares of something terrible happening to him, of being truly and totally alone in this parenting gig — except even then, I’ve got tons of supportive family and people to lean on. I have a good relationship with my family and with my in-laws. And unlike my mother when my father died, there’s nothing to keep me from relocating and staying near a support system.
I’m genuinely privileged in that I can’t imagine having no one in the world. (Hell, I’m more scared of Miles being alone if something terrible happens to Andy and I. Oh god, that’s another post though.)
So single parents: you’re in my thoughts a lot, and I wish you all had someone to lean on. Whether you’re single by choice or single by circumstance, I hope you’re not definitely alone.
1. Andy is going out of town to conduct some business in St. Louis with his father; he’s riding with a friend, hence the going it alone. Our car isn’t in bad shape, but it needs some work before I’m ready to see it go 10 ~ 12 hours round-trip.
2. Does that sound weird to anyone else? I wonder at what point the child stops being part and parcel of the mother, when people wouldn’t roll their eyebrows at a child left alone with the father. Andy’s been sole parent for a couple of days before too, so thankfully there’s not this idea in our family that the child must be with me at all times or anything.
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